In a healthy relationship both people feel energized after being together.
The best relationship advice you could receive is to learn how to take care of yourself. When you take care of yourself, you do not expect others to take care of you. When you are responsible for yourself, you are free to be yourself. And joy, oh, joy, the other person is free to be themselves.
A healthy win-win relationship will flourish over time. Healthy win-win relationships are fun, honest, authentic and empowering. Healthy relationships allow you the freedom to be your True Nature.
As soon as you become aware of any unhealthy codependency relationship patterns you can change them into healthier patterns. Improving your relationship skills will be an ongoing process of becoming more emotionally secure as you live your life more fully.
When you say goodbye to pleasing the other person, you become emotionally stronger and more secure. When you learn how to to stand up for yourself in your relationship, you become more self-confidence.
If a person truly loves you, they will not leave you if you take care of yourself. If someone loves you, they are happy when you take care of yourself. This means they do not have to take care of you, which frees them from carrying you around on their shoulders.
When you are in a relationship with someone one who does not truly love you, they may leave if you stop pleasing them. You have not lost love, you have lost approval and a heavy burden that you can lift off your shoulders.
Guilt is the nasty energy associated with unhealthy caretaking. You feel guilty when you take care of yourself instead of taking care of another person. So, do not be surprised when you feel guilty and need to unlearn the false beliefs that are controlling you.
It is also natural that you are afraid of losing love. It is universal that we fear losing the other person. However, if you face your fear of losing love, you learn that real love is different from approval. Love is secure and lasts forever.
The relationship is unhealthy when approval and disapproval are the way people control each other. Approval is conditional. Both praise and punishment are used in unhealthy relationships to control the other person.