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Here is a Holistic New Psychology, taught by Dr. Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist

Holistic Psychology Question

Can you help a reoccurring compulsive gambler and addictive personality disorder? Which is probably the result of a screwed up childhood? Jayson Diorio

Holistic Psychology Answer

Compulsive gambling is like any other addictive behavior, such as nail biting, over eating or watching too much television. Even reading and video games can be addictive behaviors.

Addictive behaviors are anxious behaviors. And yes, we learned to be anxious in our childhood. Your addictive behaviors could be how you “bind” your anxiety.

“Binding” your anxiety means you are trying to “hold” yourself together and avoid feeling your anxiety. In other words people develop these seemingly strange behaviors when they are creating an “illusion of safety.”

I say an “illusion of safety” because you are not really safer and your anxiety is still there. The addictive behaviors are not helpful because they don’t work. When you read too much you don’t pay attention to your real problems and your real problems gets worse and worse!

The source of the anxiety is what you need to attend to if you want to stop your addictive behaviors. When you stop and directly experience your anxiety, you can then get deeper into the fear behind your anxiety. The real fear is what you need to become aware of. The difference between fear and anxiety is made clear in my Fear audio, which is in the Opening the Heart audio.

Both the anxiety and fear are in your autonomic nervous system and held throughout your body in all the places where your body is too tense and or too fat. Notice being too tight and too loose are both unhealthy and signs of anxiety.

You can use any technique that helps you. But a technique is only a technique; it may or may not get rid of your symptom. And removing a symptom does not necessarily help you feel safer in the world or more self-confident.

My take on the situation is your energy is out of control. A physical fact that you need to know: Out of control and controlled energy are both the result of anxiety. Both out of control behaviors and controlled behaviors are anxiety responses.

Therefore, you may find your energy flip flopping back and forth between moving too fast and too slow. You gamble too much or don’t let yourself gamble at all. Alcoholics do this frequently. They drink too much or not at all.

Controlled behavior usually results in out of control behavior later. Likewise out of control behavior reverts back to controlled behavior. This is because you are binding your anxiety instead of dealing with how anxious and insecure you feel.

What you need to become aware of is the authentic natural flow of energy in your body that wants to break free and be expressed. The bundle of joy energy you were born with is your True Nature.

Your True Nature is your god/goddess/nature given power. Your natural energy is the source of your real strength. When you are free to be yourself, you are healthy, alive and enjoying being so.

So, my approach is to teach you how to stop being out of control and to put you in charge of your own energy flow. The best way to do this is to learn to relax and overcome anxiety naturally. Check out the affordable, Overcoming Anxiety Naturally online course. This course includes the Opening the Heart audio mentioned above.

The first thing I would do is teach you to stop judging yourself about the behavior. To judge your addictive behavior or any other behavior only makes matters worse. It is our judgment of the problem that makes us so miserable and unhappy. Whether with eating too much, drinking too much or gambling too much— learn to accept yourself.

Be accepting and loving with yourself even though you have learned these unhealthy “ways” to try to feel safe. You need to love yourself so you can begin your journey toward self-realization.

Next, you need to become aware of your anxiety. When you feel you must “gamble” or “turn on the tube” or “jump up and wash the dishes”— stop. Sit down and stop. Allow yourself to feel what is going on inside of you when you don’t do your addictive behavior.

What you will feel, if you sit still long enough, is your anxiety.

When you feel like gambling is the time to do your anxiety reduction and relaxation exercises. Do these behaviors instead of gambling. You will save a lot of money and feel much more self-confident if you do.

We carry huge amounts of anxiety in our body. This is the reason we are so rigid, unhealthy and miserable. If we would just let our real fear flow, we would face new fears each day and groove right on down the river.

Life is a series of facing more and more fears. If you are looking for a guarantee that you won’t fall, get sick, be judged or displease someone, forget it. That is never going to be reality! The world is a mess out there. It works better if you accept reality and cope with how irrational everyone is.

The more relaxed you are, the more you respond appropriately to any real physical danger. Trust your relaxed body to response correctly to any and all situations. Your body knows what to do. Body wisdom is the reason your real fear is important. You need to feel what you are really afraid of and honor it.

Your real fear could safe your life.

I hope this Holistic New Psychology information helps you know for sure that you can become master of your addiction behaviors and get in the driver’s seat. I would love to hear how you received it. Thanks for the question and next month we have a goodie!

Copyright, Dr. Doris Jeanette, 1999, revised in 2023

Two Ways to Stop Addictive Behaviors:

1. Reduce Your Anxiety.

An affordable, safe, effective way to reduce your anxiety so you do not go out and gamble is to take Dr. Jeanette’s home study course Overcoming Anxiety Naturally. 10 written lessons and 5 hours of audio.

2. Increase the Fun in your Life.

Breaking free from your inhibitions by becoming more assertive so you can stand up to your Inner Critic reaps big rewards. Take an Assertiveness Training Course. Find a local AT teacher or take our home study course in AT.

“Stop the World From Pushing You Around: Six Weeks to Solid Self-Confidence,” is a professional, high quality Assertiveness Training home study course. Dr. Jeanette began teaching Assertiveness Training in 1976. This AT course has added value due to Dr. Jeanette’s original holistic psychology point of view. Learn about nonverbal communication, body language and energy. 47 page manual with six weeks of lessons and hand outs PLUS more than six hours of audio. $149.97 Read more and order.

https://drjeanette.com/assertivenesstrainingcourse.html