Relationship Conflicts and Inner Conflicts are the Same
What you fight about outside of you, with your mother or any other person, is the same thing that you fight about inside of you.
You can apply this example to your partner, friend, boss or inner mother.
Your inner mother, says:
“You should do so and so.”
The part of you that is the good self tries to please and get approval by doing what you are told to do.
Or the part of you that is the bad self resists and will not do what you are told to do.
Result: You lose either way.
If you do what you are told, you feel resentful and bad.
If you don’t do what you are told, you feel guilty and bad.
Lose-Lose. You feel bad either way!
There is no way for you or your mother or your partner to win in a relationship conflict.
When you let go of control, you let go of these conflicts and enter a win-win state of consciousness.
Here is an exercise to help you let go of control:
Take three deep breaths. Relax your body. Keep breathing.
Letting go is relaxing. When you relax your body, this allows energy to move through you.
(If you not know how to relax your body and breathe, take the Overcome Anxiety Naturally online course. The “Opening the Heart” audio is included in this discounted package.)
Breathe into any area of your body that hurts.
Feel your sore, reactive, defensive buttons. These buttons tell you about your real emotional feelings. Try to stay with yourself and your body.
Feel your reaction to your mother. Feel reality, do not think.
Put your hand on any part of your body that hurts. Breathe into that part of your body.
“Breathe and Feel,” is my motto and mantra.
I say it repeatedly in the “Opening the Heart” audio because this is the best way to guide you into your feelings and emotions.
If you focus on your breath and feel on each exhalation, you let go.
Say to yourself. “Breathe and Feel.”
Feel your emotions when you exhale. Let your emotional energy vibrate through your body.
Let your whole body cry, not just your eyes. When you cry with your whole body, you know you have let go of control.
You have not let go of control until you relax your whole body.
You immediately feel better after a good cry. You feel relief. This is because you are freer and lighter. You have dropped a heavy load.
If you keep feeling your real emotions, you heal your emotional wounds. Then your relationship with your mother or partner will change for the better. You will relate to her or him as an equal, without past projections.
Better emotional health will also help you with any new relationship so your loving relationships in the future will be healthier and more satisfying.
When you create win-win interactions with yourself and with others you get positive, loving results.
Yahoo! You have let go of your defensive energy.
Resources to Help You Let Go, Relax and Surrender:
1. “Overcome Anxiety Naturally,” online course. This online course teaches you how to breathe, relax, get in your body. “Overcome Anxiety Naturally” online course, is a a discounted package which includes the 3 hours of “Opening the Heart” audio, 10 written lessons and two more hours of audio. cost, $199.97. Read more and order.
2. “Opening the Heart” audio and ebook. This comforting, calming, emotional health guide takes you into the energy in your heart. It is a guide to letting go of control. Learn to find, accept and love your emotions and your emotional self. Audio or Ebook, Cost, 19.97-97.00. Read more and order.
For more free psychology articles visit the free holistic psychology library.
copyright, 2000, revised, 2011, Doris Jeanette
Relationship advice, feelings, emotions, alternative therapy, holistic psychology by a licensed psychologist. Giving up defensive energy, defensiveness and letting go. Separating from family conflicts and relationship conflicts. Dealing with difficult people, emotional health, loving relationships.