holistic psychology
The Vibrant Moment – Remember: You can unlearn it.
Tools from the Center for New Psychology
Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Body-Emotions-Energy Teacher
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A reader of The Vibrant Moment wants to know how a person can tell
the difference between her narcissist parent and a narcissist
partner. The hope being that she can avoid attracting a narcissist.
This is where psychological research, especially learning research,
is helpful in understanding the painful feelings that often occur in
our love relationships. Learning research also provides an effective
solution to the problem because you can unlearn anything you learned
that you need or want to unlearn.

The Problem: We attract people like our parents to us.

Everyone attracts the same energy dynamics they had with their
parents. If your mother was narcissistic or your father was paranoid,
you learned whatever they taught you as a child. You did not have any
say so over what they dished out. You become whatever you learned.
As a child, what you learned is normal for you. Therefore, there is
no way you cannot attract people like your parents to you. You do not
notice anything is odd or different about what you learned from your
parents until you see or read about other options. When you notice
different options is when you begin your life long exciting journey
of becoming more conscious and aware.
You don’t stop attracting people like your parents no matter what
type of person they were until you consciously and deliberating
unlearn unhealthy patterns that you need to unlearn. But first you
have to know what you want to unlearn. You have to dive deep into
your unconscious and bring these false beliefs up to the light of
your conscious mind.
Since we are dependent for so long, this is quite a challenge. The
process of separating from your parents is also difficult because you
learned so many essentials skills that you need for survival from
your parents. This means you have to sort through the things they
taught you that are helpful and those that hurt you. Avoiding or
pleasing your parents does not work. We have to grow up, stand on
our own two feet, feel our emotions and take responsibility for
whatever we are stuck in.

The Solution: You can unlearn your response to your parents and stop behaving like your parents.

Since 1924, when Dr. Mary Cover Jones published her successful
treatment of teaching little Peter to overcome his anxiety about
rabbits, there has been abundant evidence based learning research
that gives us all the tools we need to stop attracting unhealthy
relationship energy toward us. Dr. Mary Cover Jones is the mother of
Behavior Therapy. Dr. Joe Wolpe, who has been called the father of
Behavior Therapy, was my supervisor at the Behavior Therapy Unit in
1975. Being the feminist that he was, Dr. Wolpe gave Dr. Jones the
credit she deserved.
The Holistic New Psychology uses this reliable psychological research
to empower you so you can separate from your parents. You are
conditioned and controlled until you unlearn your reactions to your
parents. Avoiding people like your parents makes you weaker, not
stronger. Instead of avoiding, you need to step by step, face your
anxieties and fears so you can meet them as equals.
As you separate from your parents, you discover who you really are.
Once your energy changes, you attract people who are less like your
parents and more like you. Your true self comes out and explores life
without your parents’ judgments. The challenge is to stop treating
yourself the same way your parents treated you. This may be in your
unconscious and it is what you are doing to yourself. As an adult, it
is your inner mother and father that hurts you. Once you stand up to
your Inner Critic, the outside judgments do not have power over you.
This process of separating from our parents is the process of
transformation. It is an ongoing process of diving into your
unconscious to find more defensive energy to let go of. To be
successful, you need to know how to reduce your anxiety naturally
as you move closer to your fears and anxieties so you can desensitize
them. Another skill you need to learn is how to stand up to your
Inner Critic and other people when they step on your toes. This means
you become more open, honest and vulnerable with people. A head
without a heart is not assertive. Assertiveness Training is effective
in improving all your relationships.
However, you do not need to wait to “do this or anything else” to
feel good about yourself. You can feel good about yourself in this
moment by giving up your judgments in the moment. It is your
current judgmental thoughts that hurt you. Gather them up and
throw away that heavy energy!
Drop down into your body, breathe and love your emotional self—no
matter what. Facing your fears is the pathway to freedom and joy.
FIND WHAT YOU NEED TO UNLEARN: Facing your fears is the pathway
to freedom and joy. The more you feel your real fear, the more you
stay on the path of transformation. It is only the foolish ego who is not
afraid. You are empowered as soon as you love who you really are
instead of what you learned. Three hours of audio on feelings, fear
and hurt, recorded in a sound studio so my voice delivers healing,
calming vibrations to resonate with over and over again for better
mental health. $97.00, money-back guarantee.
Read more and order:
UNLEARN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: Order Overcome Anxiety Naturally
homestudy course
Learning research is used to teach you how to reduce your anxiety
naturally. Ten written lessons guide you into a stronger relationship
with your body so you relax into it and stay grounded. When you are
grounded, you cannot be anxious. Breathing and body exercises
strengthen your ability to remove conditioned responses from your
nervous system so you can relax and be self-confident. The three-hour
Opening the Heart audio is included in the home study course,
Overcome Anxiety Naturally. $197.00, money-back guarantee.
Read more and order:
SPECIAL: Order the home study course before Sunday, May 19 and
get $50.00 off. Use coupon code, DRJEANETTE
Problems? Email me or call 215-732-6197.
If you enjoy The Vibrant Moment, please forward it to friends and
colleagues. It comes to you from Dr. Doris Jeanette, with over
forty-five years of experience teaching people how to read and use
energy to unlock and use their human potential. Sign up at:
Doris Jeanette, Psy.D.
503 S. 21 St.
Philadelphia, PA 19146
Mentor and author of Opening the Heart

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