Remember: You can unlearn it.

The Vibrant Moment – Remember: You can unlearn it.

Tools from the Center for New Psychology

Publisher: Dr. Doris Jeanette, Body-Emotions-Energy Teacher

Visit: http://www.drjeanette.com

Follow me on Twitter for fun and inspiration:

http://twitter.com/DorisJeanette

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A reader of The Vibrant Moment wants to know how a person can tell

the difference between her narcissist parent and a narcissist

partner. The hope being that she can avoid attracting a narcissist.

This is where psychological research, especially learning research,

is helpful in understanding the painful feelings that often occur in

our love relationships. Learning research also provides an effective

solution to the problem because you can unlearn anything you learned

that you need or want to unlearn.

The Problem: We attract people like our parents to us.

Everyone attracts the same energy dynamics they had with their

parents. If your mother was narcissistic or your father was paranoid,

you learned whatever they taught you as a child. You did not have any

say so over what they dished out. You become whatever you learned.

As a child, what you learned is normal for you. Therefore, there is

no way you cannot attract people like your parents to you. You do not

notice anything is odd or different about what you learned from your

parents until you see or read about other options. When you notice

different options is when you begin your life long exciting journey

of becoming more conscious and aware.

You don’t stop attracting people like your parents no matter what

type of person they were until you consciously and deliberating

unlearn unhealthy patterns that you need to unlearn. But first you

have to know what you want to unlearn. You have to dive deep into

your unconscious and bring these false beliefs up to the light of

your conscious mind.

Since we are dependent for so long, this is quite a challenge. The

process of separating from your parents is also difficult because you

learned so many essentials skills that you need for survival from

your parents. This means you have to sort through the things they

taught you that are helpful and those that hurt you. Avoiding or

pleasing your parents does not work. We have to grow up, stand on

our own two feet, feel our emotions and take responsibility for

whatever we are stuck in.

The Solution: You can unlearn your response to your parents and stop behaving like your parents.

Since 1924, when Dr. Mary Cover Jones published her successful

treatment of teaching little Peter to overcome his anxiety about

rabbits, there has been abundant evidence based learning research

that gives us all the tools we need to stop attracting unhealthy

relationship energy toward us. Dr. Mary Cover Jones is the mother of

Behavior Therapy. Dr. Joe Wolpe, who has been called the father of

Behavior Therapy, was my supervisor at the Behavior Therapy Unit in

1975. Being the feminist that he was, Dr. Wolpe gave Dr. Jones the

credit she deserved.

The Holistic New Psychology uses this reliable psychological research

to empower you so you can separate from your parents. You are

conditioned and controlled until you unlearn your reactions to your

parents. Avoiding people like your parents makes you weaker, not

stronger. Instead of avoiding, you need to step by step, face your

anxieties and fears so you can meet them as equals.

As you separate from your parents, you discover who you really are.

Once your energy changes, you attract people who are less like your

parents and more like you. Your true self comes out and explores life

without your parents’ judgments. The challenge is to stop treating

yourself the same way your parents treated you. This may be in your

unconscious and it is what you are doing to yourself. As an adult, it

is your inner mother and father that hurts you. Once you stand up to

your Inner Critic, the outside judgments do not have power over you.

This process of separating from our parents is the process of

transformation. It is an ongoing process of diving into your

unconscious to find more defensive energy to let go of. To be

successful, you need to know how to reduce your anxiety naturally

as you move closer to your fears and anxieties so you can desensitize

them. Another skill you need to learn is how to stand up to your

Inner Critic and other people when they step on your toes. This means

you become more open, honest and vulnerable with people. A head

without a heart is not assertive. Assertiveness Training is effective

in improving all your relationships.

However, you do not need to wait to “do this or anything else” to

feel good about yourself. You can feel good about yourself in this

moment by giving up your judgments in the moment. It is your

current judgmental thoughts that hurt you. Gather them up and

throw away that heavy energy!

Drop down into your body, breathe and love your emotional self—no

matter what. Facing your fears is the pathway to freedom and joy.

______________________________

FIND WHAT YOU NEED TO UNLEARN: Facing your fears is the pathway

to freedom and joy. The more you feel your real fear, the more you

stay on the path of transformation. It is only the foolish ego who is not

afraid. You are empowered as soon as you love who you really are

instead of what you learned. Three hours of audio on feelings, fear

and hurt, recorded in a sound studio so my voice delivers healing,

calming vibrations to resonate with over and over again for better

mental health. $97.00, money-back guarantee.

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